Part of this verse reads, “…do not spend money for that which is of no worth, nor your labor for that which cannot satisfy.” As you may know, we Wagners are working hard to become debt free in the next 2 years, so obviously, we’re trying not to spend any money for that which is of no worth. But what about the second half of that sentence? I’ve been pondering that today. When am I spending my labor on that which cannot satisfy? Have you ever gotten distracted, maybe by technology, by the mail, by a mess that doesn’t really matter, etc? It happens to me every day. But I didn’t actually know how much I was spending my time on that which does not satisfy; activities that make me scratch my head and wonder where my day has gone. So, my husband, Seth, and I watched this life changing TED Talk by time expert Laura Vanderkam. It’s only about 10 minutes long, and I feel like it has given me control of my life. Vanderkam has given me the tools that I needed to direct my time so that I can create the life I want. I hope it can help you too.
I don’t have time to reinvent the wheel, and it wouldn’t be worth it anyways. So instead of creating a podcast episode about this, I’ll give you my favorite 3 highlights from the “Afford Anything” Podcast and send you to the resources that inspired me! Laura Vanderkam is an amazing time management guru, and she is revolutionizing our life so that we can CREATE the life we want! (instead of feeling like victims that are too busy to do the things we want to do. It’s all about priorities. And it’s going to take some practice….a lot of practice, but I think in the course of a couple months, we will be able to truly harness our time in the same way we’ve harness our finances. If you tell your money what to do, it will do it! It’s the same concept with time. If you tell it what to do, then your time doesn’t happen to you anymore; you happen to your time! The first step is to find out where your time is actually going. Here are my favorite gems from Laura in this episode of Afford Anything, “Why You’re Not As Busy As You Think”
“How we think we spend our time has very little relation to how we actually spend our time.”
“There is no 11:00pm home inspection. No one is coming to your house at night and making sure everything is up off the floor [giving] you points for this. ‘cuz it’s just gonna come out again the next morning. Those toys are going to come right back out, but you will never get that time back. So just let it be. Let it sit there.”
Give yourself some grace. “No one can be completely efficient 100% of the time.”
If you find yourself getting distracted, less efficient, etc. TAKE A BREAK! “If you don’ t take a real break your brain will take a fake one.”
I’m so excited that I have 168 hours in my week! And so do you! We all do! And I’ve found that if I start living more intentionally than I’ve ever lived before, I’ll have 40 more hours in my week to use the way I want to! (More to come on what I want to do with that time 😉
Have you read this talk yet!? Elder Robert D. Hales, an apostle of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, was a very wise and gentle yet powerful person. He passed away last month, and I will miss hearing from him, but his words and message live on in my heart and in the hearts of many. This talk is truly inspiring. You can read it below in this post, or at this link, or you could just watch this very short video that summarizes the message. One of my very favorite quotes from this talk is:
“I have learned that the three most loving words are “I love you,” and the four most caring words for those we love are “We can’t afford it.””
Brothers and sisters, as did President Monson, our children are growing up in times of economic uncertainty. Just as our grandparents and great-grandparents learned vital lessons through economic adversity, what we learn now, in our present circumstances, can bless us and our posterity for generations to come.
Today I speak to all whose freedom to choose has been diminished by the effects of ill-advised choices of the past. I speak specifically of choices that have led to excessive debt and addictions to food, drugs, pornography, and other patterns of thought and action that diminish one’s sense of self-worth. All of these excesses affect us individually and undermine our family relationships. Of course some debt incurred for education, a modest home, or a basic automobile may be necessary to provide for a family. Unfortunately however, additional debt is incurred when we cannot control our wants and addictive impulses. And for both debt and addiction, the hopeful solution is the same—we must turn to the Lord and follow His commandments. We must want more than anything else to change our lives so that we can break the cycle of debt and our uncontrolled wants. I pray that in the next few minutes, and throughout this conference, you will be filled with hope in our Savior, Jesus Christ, and find hope in the doctrines of His restored gospel.
Our challenges, including those we create by our own decisions, are part of our test in mortality. Let me assure you that your situation is not beyond the reach of our Savior. Through Him, every struggle can be for our experience and our good (see D&C 122:7). Each temptation we overcome is to strengthen us, not destroy us. The Lord will never allow us to suffer beyond what we can endure (see 1 Corinthians 10:13).
We must remember that the adversary knows us extremely well. He knows where, when, and how to tempt us. If we are obedient to the promptings of the Holy Ghost, we can learn to recognize the adversary’s enticements. Before we yield to temptation, we must learn to say with unflinching resolve, “Get thee behind me, Satan” (Matthew 16:23).
Our success is never measured by how strongly we are tempted but by how faithfully we respond. We must ask for help from our Heavenly Father and seek strength through the Atonement of His Son, Jesus Christ. In both temporal and spiritual things, obtaining this divine assistance enables us to become provident providers for ourselves and others.
What is a provident provider?
All of us are responsible to provide for ourselves and our families in both temporal and spiritual ways. To provide providently, we must practice the principles of provident living: joyfully living within our means, being content with what we have, avoiding excessive debt, and diligently saving and preparing for rainy-day emergencies. When we live providently, we can provide for ourselves and our families and also follow the Savior’s example to serve and bless others.
Being provident providers, we must keep that most basic commandment, “Thou shalt not covet” (Exodus 20:17). Our world is fraught with feelings of entitlement. Some of us feel embarrassed, ashamed, less worthwhile if our family does not have everything the neighbors have. As a result, we go into debt to buy things we can’t afford—and things we do not really need. Whenever we do this, we become poor temporally and spiritually. We give away some of our precious, priceless agency and put ourselves in self-imposed servitude. Money we could have used to care for ourselves and others must now be used to pay our debts. What remains is often only enough to meet our most basic physical needs. Living at the subsistence level, we become depressed, our self-worth is affected, and our relationships with family, friends, neighbors, and the Lord are weakened. We do not have the time, energy, or interest to seek spiritual things.
How then do we avoid and overcome the patterns of debt and addiction to temporal, worldly things? May I share with you two lessons in provident living that can help each of us. These lessons, along with many other important lessons of my life, were taught to me by my wife and eternal companion. These lessons were learned at two different times in our marriage—both on occasions when I wanted to buy her a special gift.
The first lesson was learned when we were newly married and had very little money. I was in the air force, and we had missed Christmas together. I was on assignment overseas. When I got home, I saw a beautiful dress in a store window and suggested to my wife that if she liked it, we would buy it. Mary went into the dressing room of the store. After a moment the salesclerk came out, brushed by me, and returned the dress to its place in the store window. As we left the store, I asked, “What happened?” She replied, “It was a beautiful dress, but we can’t afford it!” Those words went straight to my heart. I have learned that the three most loving words are “I love you,” and the four most caring words for those we love are “We can’t afford it.”
The second lesson was learned several years later when we were more financially secure. Our wedding anniversary was approaching, and I wanted to buy Mary a fancy coat to show my love and appreciation for our many happy years together. When I asked what she thought of the coat I had in mind, she replied with words that again penetrated my heart and mind. “Where would I wear it?” she asked. (At the time she was a ward Relief Society president helping to minister to needy families.)
Then she taught me an unforgettable lesson. She looked me in the eyes and sweetly asked, “Are you buying this for me or for you?” In other words, she was asking, “Is the purpose of this gift to show your love for me or to show me that you are a good provider or to prove something to the world?” I pondered her question and realized I was thinking less about her and our family and more about me.
After that we had a serious, life-changing discussion about provident living, and both of us agreed that our money would be better spent in paying down our home mortgage and adding to our children’s education fund.
These two lessons are the essence of provident living. When faced with the choice to buy, consume, or engage in worldly things and activities, we all need to learn to say to one another, “We can’t afford it, even though we want it!” or “We can afford it, but we don’t need it—and we really don’t even want it!”
There is an equally important principle underlying these lessons: we can learn much from communicating with our husbands and wives. As we counsel and work together in family councils, we can help each other become provident providers and teach our children to live providently as well.
The foundation of provident living is the law of the tithe. The primary purpose of this law is to help us develop faith in our Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ. Tithing helps us overcome our desires for the things of this world and willingly make sacrifices for others. Tithing is the great equitable law, for no matter how rich or poor we are, all of us pay the same one-tenth of our increase annually (see D&C 119:4), and all of us receive blessings so great “that there shall not be room enough to receive [them]” (Malachi 3:10).
In addition to our tithes, we should also be an example with the payment of fast offerings. A fast offering is at least the cost of the two consecutive meals from which we fast each month. By not eating these two meals, we draw close to the Lord in humility and prayer and also participate in anonymous giving to bless our brothers and sisters all over the world.
Another important way we help our children learn to be provident providers is by establishing a family budget. We should regularly review our family income, savings, and spending plan in family council meetings. This will teach our children to recognize the difference between wants and needs and to plan ahead for meaningful use of family resources.
When our boys were young, we had a family council and set a goal to take a “dream vacation” down the Colorado River. When any of us wanted to buy something during the next year, we would ask each other, “Do we really want to buy that thing now, or do we want to take our dream trip later?” This was a wonderful teaching experience in choosing provident living. By not satisfying our every immediate want, we obtained the more desirable reward of family togetherness and fond memories for years to come.
Whenever we want to experience or possess something that will impact us and our resources, we may want to ask ourselves, “Is the benefit temporary, or will it have eternal value and significance?” Truthfully answering these questions may help us avoid excessive debt and other addictive behavior.
In seeking to overcome debt and addictive behaviors, we should remember that addiction is the craving of the natural man, and it can never be satisfied. It is an insatiable appetite. When we are addicted, we seek those worldly possessions or physical pleasures that seem to entice us. But as children of God, our deepest hunger and what we should be seeking is what the Lord alone can provide—His love, His sense of worth, His security, His confidence, His hope in the future, and assurance of His love, which brings us eternal joy.
We must want, more than anything else, to do our Heavenly Father’s will and providently provide for ourselves and others. We must say, as did King Lamoni’s father, “I will give away all my sins to know thee” (Alma 22:18). Then we can go to Him with steadfast determination and promise Him, “I will do whatever it takes.” Through prayer, fasting, obedience to the commandments, priesthood blessings, and His atoning sacrifice, we will feel His love and power in our lives. We will receive His spiritual guidance and strength through the promptings of the Holy Ghost. Only through our Lord’s Atonement can we obtain a mighty change of heart (see Mosiah 5:2; Alma 5:14) and experience a mighty change in our addictive behavior.
With all the love I have in me and with the Savior’s love through me, I invite you to come unto Him and hear His words: “Wherefore, do not spend money for that which is of no worth, nor your labor for that which cannot satisfy. Hearken diligently unto me, and remember the words which I have spoken; and come unto the Holy One of Israel, and feast upon that which perisheth not, neither can be corrupted” (2 Nephi 9:51).
I testify that the appetite to possess worldly things can only be overcome by turning to the Lord. The hunger of addiction can only be replaced by our love for Him. He stands ready to help each one of us. “Fear not,” He said, “for you are mine, and I have overcome the world” (D&C 50:41).
I bear my special witness that through the Atonement He has overcome all things. May each of us also overcome worldly temptation by coming unto Him and by becoming provident providers both temporally and spiritually for ourselves and others is my humble prayer in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
Thank you to all who donated to my CHARITY WATER Birthday Campaign! Because of you, more than 19 people will gain access to clean water! What a beautiful gift to give. And thank you to you all for your understanding and patience during my hiatus. I’ve been taking care of some family matters for the last couple months, and trying to be more present and available to the people I love the most. And sometimes that means putting personal pursuits on hold. Trying to save the world while neglecting the needs of my own family is no good indeed. So I’m trying to put my priorities in order, looking after my overall personal health, my family relationships and responsibilities, and then personal endeavors. Things have been falling into place much better, and I’m hoping to get podcasting again sometime within the next month or so. Until then, get out there and make some hope! (Start with yourself, then your family, and then reach out to others 🙂
Do you need some inspiration? Empathy? Hope? Understanding? Joy? Empowerment? Motivation? Happiness? If you do, (and even if you don’t think you do) Watch This. You’ll Be Glad You Did. I Promise. It will only take 20 minutes, less than the time it takes to watch an episode of a show that doesn’t make you feel good or be a better person. But this will. Please watch!
Oh, please watch this 5 minute video! It is a miracle and an absolute joy to see the goodness that can come even out of sorrow. This makes me so happy! This is a preview of what my podcast this week will be about. 😉
As part of my social enterprise (business with an interwoven goal to do good for others), I will be focused on one specific service project at a time that I can engage in, and encourage my community to get involved in.
This was the first Making Hope Event I’ve organized. This is me and my neighbors. We only finished 2 blankets because we were chatting and getting to know each other! Now we aren’t just neighbors. We’re friends.
So please check out my new shop, and stay tuned for more big things to come! (Podcast, Facebook Group, Workshops, New Products, etc.)
First of all, thank you for your interest, and for visiting my new website! This is the birthday of my social enterprise, One Yellow Finch! I am super excited to grow this business, and I am FULL of ideas! My mantra for 2017 came from Bernadette Logue of Pinch Me Living, someone who inspires me and gives me hope.
I CAN DO ANYTHING, BUT I CAN’T DO EVERYTHING.
My scripture for 2017 is
BY SMALL AND SIMPLE THINGS ARE GREAT THINGS BROUGHT TO PASS.
I am so enthusiastic about creating One Yellow Finch to
help support my family financially (and obliterate our student loans!),
to continue MAKING HOPE for myself and for others,
to express my creativity, to learn in so many different ways, to develop and grow,
and to become a better person, a better wife and mother, a better neighbor, a better disciple of Christ, a better me.
But I must remember, as a mentor of mine (Jess Van Den) always says,
“Creating a handmade business is a marathon, not a sprint.”
How true that is! I have to remember my mantra and my scripture, and the tortoise. Slow and steady wins the race. I will just try to do something, even if it’s only for 15 minutes, each day (except Sundays), and it will grow and spread. Already, this social enterprise is helping me to choose happiness. I am always (well not always, but super often!) thinking of ideas for ONE YELLOW FINCH and for MAKING HOPE. Those thoughts bring me joy because I am focused on something with a good and loving purpose, to care for my family and to help others. I hope One Yellow Finch will be a blessing to you. I hope you will come with me on this journey. Thanks again for being here!